Les Go…

There is nothing more than I look forward to in the morning, afternoon or anytime, really, is a cup of coffee. I love the smack of bitterness that hits your tongue. The fresh smell before and after brewing. The feeling of the extreme productive rush you get and then the subsequent cups to prevent a crash. Some people do “drugs” I do coffee.

N’don’t even think about putting sugar in my shit. The blacker the better, thank you very much.

So, welcome to Hanoi where the coffee tastes like battery acid. Ok, I may get some backlash on that one. Let me take off my Western lenses for this one. Cafe Den Da (cold iced coffee) is how I have to drink mine here because it is sweltering. Khong Duong (no sugar), please. So with that particular order, my coffee comes out in the drinkable version of battery acid. I’ve tried drinking it like the locals with condensed milk and I was high for weeks. If you can do it, all the more power to ya.

The unique thing about Hanoi is that there are cafes every where. I really don’t know how they all survive, but they’re everywhere. One for any mood that you may be in. So, Les go to some cafes!

This little eccentric gem is located at the end of an easily missed alley (like all good things). Ca Phe Nha Kho is for the hoarders at heart. It smells musty. It looks cluttered. It feels claustrophobic. It’s so Hanoi. I love it. And you can get these lil green bean paste which pair with your acidic coffee, it’s a pleasant combo!

Or, if you’re lookin for something a little more open, there’s Tiny Cafe which ain’t so tiny. This is found at the end of an even more narrow alley. I could spend hours amongst the books.

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My GF came across this underground cafe which is centered around books. The seclusion of the basement makes me wanna curl up and read all day. Funnily enough, I tried going there by myself and the ole Vietnamese lady owner shooed me away. She wanted nothin to do with my Western ass. Try Pink Book Cafe!

There are too many niche cafes to even highlight them. We tried this one out this morning and I could see myself hidden within my own lil nature utopia within the city (Tapies Cafe).

I’ve come to tolerate and maybe even depend on the kick in the teeth that is Vietnamese coffee. Lucky for me, there are plenty more cafes to explore!

Moving half way across the world changes you. It’s arguable it changes your “soul.” (We have no soul according to my atheist dad but, who knows!) For me, moving here made me feel like I was pressing the “start” button again. Not like I had an epiphany or found my center like those millennial expats would say (I was born in ’88, I know this) but I really felt like I could do some shit here. For example, I flirted with the idea of doing open mic. I flirted with the idea of practicing yoga 3xs a week. A b*tch be changin out here. And that’s how I ended up going on a weekend trip with a complete stranger as a first date. Les go to Ninh Binh.

I have an irrational fear of caves. Really it ain’t irrational. Hmmm, let’s go into a deep black hole in the earth. What could go wrong? But, remember, a b*tch be changin out here so my ass was all in some caves with the bats and all.

This trip was my first exposure to a legit Vietnamese Pagoda (Bai Dinh Pagoda). It was beautiful. It is hella big and just so much intricate detail.

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Funny enough, you’re not suppose to touch the Buddhas but obviously everyone and they momma don’t follow the rules!

Ninh Binh is such a convenient day/weekend trip from Hanoi. I seriously don’t know why I don’t do it more often. In my younger days (no spring chicken anymore) I used to fantasize about living in a big, dirty city like New York. Now that I’m old, I just can’t be bothered with big cities. Shit, Hanoi can be exhausting sometimes!

Driving around Hanoi is real. Mad real. Think of it as a school of fish. The drivers all travel together as one school. Funny enough, they all run red lights together as a school of fish, too! Wait, who am I kiddin. There are no red lights. They’re jus suggestions.

An’ don’t get me started on crossing the street as a “pedestrian.” I don’t speak Vietnamese but, I wouldn’t be surprised if that word weren’t even in their lexicon. There aren’t “pedestrians” on them streets jus lil frogs in the game of frogger.

I say that all to say, bein in them streets at night is magical, though. There still is technically (or maybe not so technically any more) curfew after midnight in Hanoi. So, going out post midnight is like a magical, deserted wonderland. It’s also the best time to visit the flower market in Tay Ho.

The peak hours are way past my bed time (2am -4ish) but my lil ole grandma self can still get the essence early. The street vendors all come to get their batch to sell the next day and it’s a crazy process to witness.

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I may or may not be a lil tip-tip (tipsy for those that don’t speak Tammy) every time I come to the flower market but it’s always a trip. I was hella disappointed when I bought sunflowers there one magically drunken night to only wake up to welted lil guys come the morning time.

People live on-top of people in Hanoi. As I write this I’m trying not to make eye contact with the neighbors across the alley. There is constant construction and houses literally touch as they wind down ever-narrow alley ways. Fortunately, I’m never awoken by jackhammers at 6am (I’m not kidding. The workers start that early) but I am woken by gorgeous birds singing. Sadly, they’re kept in cages by my one English speaking neighbor who has three fatty chihuahuas and a plethora of exotic(ish) birds.

I can see into my neighbors flats. Directly. And you know what that means? They can see into mine. Have I revealed that I wear minimal amounts of clothing indoors? Shit, when I’m outdoors I wear minimal amounts of clothes. I hate clothes. So, my whole neighborhood knows who I am for prolly all the wrong reasons. That’s why it’s good to take weekend trips to places like Mai Chau!

This was one of my first weekend trips out of Hanoi. This was my first time staying at a legit VN homestay and it was super pleasant. IDK how I’ve slept my whole existence on Western mattresses. This is where it’s at:

The scenery of Mai Chau is fresh and stunning. Renting a motorbike is a must. Just make sure all the lights work. Let’s jus say I had to hold an IPhone light as our only guide down narrow roads. Super safe. No worries.

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I also discovered my true passion: Dog Whisperer. I only had to come half way across the world to find it!

Also, the food may actually be cheaper than Hanoi, if that’s possible. And I discovered my favorite VN dish, Com Lam.

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So, we took a private hire there and a public bus back. The public bus was real. Like, I was stepping over people left and right. At one point I had to use the bathroom and the driver said I could relieve myself in a plastic bag… Like I use plastic bags!

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As ya’ll may know, I live in Hanoi, Vietnam. I have for the past year. People back home often ask me what it’s like living here. I really can’t explain it. It’s something that one must experience for their own. Les jus say, it’s not a starter city. Coming back here I traded unseasonably cold weather for straight up swamp ass.

With that being said, this is my host country and I have mad love for it. I was surprisingly sweating with excitement to be back in my lovely back-alley neighborhood in Ba Dinh, Hanoi (or maybe I was sweating because it’s damn near 100 with 100% humidity)!?

A little exploration

I jus wanna give ya’ll a brief sense of the daily in Hanoi. This is in no way an all encompassing exploration but I’ll do my best. Everyday I am presented with things that jus make me scratch my head and things that make me stand in awe.

For example, there is no limit to what people will transport via bike:

these are all on bikes driven by real people. If I documented all the crazy ass shit I’ve seen on bikes that’d become my FT job.

Or, the beautifully appalling maze that are the telephone wires and back alleys:

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Les Go to the Railway, Hanoi

One place that’s pretty unique in Hanoi is the Railway. Its a few block section in Old Quarter where the train passes directly through a residential area. The train is so close it’s got damn unnerving. Amongst all the blood thirsty tourist is a community that has preserved throughout the constant passing of Hanoi’s finest trains.

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There are many local businesses popping up on the tracks. I have a favorite, The Railway Hanoi, where the people who work there always show so much love to my GF and I.

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When I say the the train comes close y’all, I am not lying!

For the time being I’ll keep grinding in Hanoi and all of my senses will be continually over saturated. There’s never a dull moment.

But first, les talk some real shit

As I was checking into my extremely large hostel with the rainbow flag flying proudly above it’s doors, I was smacked in the face with our reality. Traveling as women. Regardless of sexual orientation or the myriad of fluidity that one could represent (that adds a whole ‘nother element) we are presented with the BS that is Patriarchy . Being a woman in toxic patriarchy is frightening. We have to traverse through landmines in realms of the home, street, boardroom, media, the daily decisions we make, and the ownership of our own mind, bodies and souls. This doesn’t go away when traveling. The thing that is almost debilitating about traveling while a woman is we are out of our element, safe zones, cultures, languages, and peoples.

While checking into this hostel a woman next to us had to plea with the front desk worker for a female-only dorm due to “bad experiences in the past”. As this woman pleaded between English and Spanish to an all male staff as to why she can’t allow herself, as a seemingly single woman traveling, to be comfortable in a mixed-dorm hostel my heart shattered. The patriarchy needs to wake the fuck up to the realities of half of the population. They can start here : Is Masculinity a Terrorist Ideology?

Follow the rainbow brick road

We followed the rainbow brick road to this delicious vegan diner that happened to be square in the middle of Boystown. Boystown is the gayborhood of gayborhoods. Not only were there rainbow flags and murals everywhere you turned, all of the businesses were for Us. From barber shops to diner to realtors. I had the best breakfast since being in the States at Chicago Diner – Meat free Since ’83 and our servers were everything

Now, I’m not gonna break down the representation of the rainbow of diversity that is the family of LGBT in Boystown. I always wish for more representation for my lesbian sisters and I heard there is a little pocket in Chi that offers Us jus that but, Boystown was everything. And you could learn you some history on the way.

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And off we sail

When you know people who know people you do things that make you feel fancy. Les jus say knowing an insider to Chi allowed us to be on Lake Michigan for my first time ever, see multi-faceted brilliant artists at Green Mill, and dive head first into delicious eats.

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Until we meet again.

After not seeing my home country for one year straight it felt good to fall back into the glutton and glory of The States. There is definitely some sad 1950’s laws that are pumping out of the good ole ‘Mericah but I’ll try to have hope.

Fear the Deer, my friend

Basketball. In one way or another basketball has always been a part of my life. Don’t get it twisted, I can’t play. I don’t even think I’ve ever been on a court and if we’re being 100, I’m not even sure I’m aware of all the rules. But, I love me some basketball. Growing up my dad had a basketball “hoop” hung up in the living room and we used to play “Horse” and go absolute ham (sorry to the people who lived below us in our humble duplex).

My dad and I used to go to games to see the three sheroes – Cassel, Allen, and Big Dog- when the tickets were cheap AF in the Bradley Center (RIP).

So, it was great to come back to a winning ass team. We jus got the Fiserv.Forum (thanks in part to tax payers dollars) which rightfully should be called the Milwaukee.Forum. Any who, it’s bangin. It is more of a community town hall. I was so happy to see the diversity of Milwaukee coexisting in sweet Bucks harmony.

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Hoppin round MKE

The latter part of my homecoming (Yea, I’m like Bey) was a whirlwind of emotions, love, and actually good weather! I had my best friend, my ace boon koon, my brother from another mother come in to visit me from NOLA and we tore the town down 30+ style (i.e. in bed by 10:30, up by 8 am). My Riverwest neighborhood really showed out for the homie.

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Do it for the Fam.

The whole reason I made this homecoming trip from half way around the world was for my first nephew’s highschool graduation. I was 12 years old when he was born. He is more like my brother. As mentioned before, as you get older the fam really is the glue. I’m not crying, you’re crying!

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Until I see you again Milwaukee, be easy.

Daddy daytrippin.

On my trip back home my Daddy and I decided to take a short day trip to Appleton, Wisconsin. When you close your eyes and think of Middle America, this is basically it. Small town, cows chillin amongst gas stations that sell beer, tobacco, and variety of “meats.” Scary, I know.

If you all forgot, I’m Milwaukee. Remember: from the dopest neighborhood of Riverwest. So when I come out to small town USA shit, I get the hebby jeebies.

But, when you’re traveling with the homie, aka your Dad, who is the most unique person you’ve ever met, there can be no wrong. And of course you have your trusty map to guide you.

Small town attractions

My Dad called me early AF to go on this road trip. Well, early for me because I had gone out with my childhood friend hard the previous night to plenty of LGBT spots which you can find here: LGBT SPOTS in Riverwest. Why do 30+ do shots I’ll never know.

Anywho. My Dad planned all these lil fun adventures which was adorably awesome so I was excited!

This was the trip itinerary. Yea, it’s 2019 but you wouldn’t know that by looking at the crumpled paper.

We were really excited to see the Houdini museum which is actually the History Museum but you couldn’t tell my Daddy that. The museum was exactly what you’d think. Small, quaint, but pleasantly charming.

Now that that was marked off our itinerary we ventured to a historic house which was creepy AF but the volunteer was precious. You know, it appears when you’re from a small town you go hard for historic houses.

On the streets of Appleton there were many cute little installations and murals. The lil charms of small town were everywhere and it was enough for the few hours we were there.

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All in all, the day trip was dope. As I get older every time I’m back home all I ever wanna do is kick it with my fam and especially parents. LOL, it’s the lil pleasures. I mean come on, look at that face!:

“Home is where the heart is.”

So they say.

As a nomadic expat it’s hard to pin down home. Being immersed in multiple host cultures and countries for so long, the lines blur. But there is no feeling like cheap beer, cheese, and perpetual cold weather that is Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Throughout the US…

I hopped around the US during my early twenties, a lot. I hadn’t grown the ovaries yet to get my ass outta the States like I truly wanted to so, State hoppin I did.

Back to the 414, Milwaukee!

Being back home always gives me mixed feelings. Milwaukee is like that family member you got that you love to death but can’t quite get their shit together (shit, I may be that one in my fam! Who knows!?) MKE has a lot of dope shit and of course nostalgic places for me.

It jus so seems every.single.time. I am back home it is literally the shittiest weather of the year and no sun. On some real, the reverse culture shock was the worst it’s ever been after being on the other side of the world for one year.

Riverwest, Milwaukee

I was born n raised in the most inclusive, diverse neighborhood in Milwaukee.

If there’s only one thing you do today show some got damn love to Genre: Urban Arts. They held the most wonderful open mic / local artist / spoken word show that proved that people should not sleep on Milwaukee.

I moved to Hanoi, VN almost one year ago to the date. Wow. Every second of everyday my senses are over stimulated from the beautiful mess that is Hanoi. Good thing about Hanoi, little weekend getaways are super easy to do. Therefore, les go to Sapa!

Sapa was impressive. I was fortunate enough to have great weather (though I was sweating buckets during my women-led trek) so I could see the beautifully terraced rice fields that locals work tirelessly during harvest to pick.

One of the main things that stuck with me about Sapa was how women ran that shit. From my guided mountain trek to my women-run homestay to the street vendors on the street, the queen energy was flowin non stop and I loved every minute of it. I don’t take pictures of people, ever, but here are some beautiful images/story from another : Sapa women.

I stayed at the most pleasant homestay: Hmong Sisters House. Of course, women ran and operated beautifully. To get to Sapa it takes about 5ish hours on bus from Hanoi. It feels much quicker because they have legit sleeper buses where you can fully lay down (yes, you may be crammed in between two strangers or multiple people could be getting car sick in bags… but, it’s not an adventure ’til it’s an adventure)!