Les Go: Heartbreak in Hanoi

Oh. Heartbreak is shit. I think we all know that but when you’re in the shit all you can see is shit. Being abroad in shit may be the hardest thing to comprehend but here we are. So, Les Go: Heartbreak in Hanoi.

She’s gotten to sleep in the bed much more now!

Bitter Bitch

As you get older you tell yourself you’re not gonna get bitter. You’re not gonna lose your rose-tinted glasses but then you get older and one heartbreak happens and your heart develops one more layer. Then you get through it and over it and try again. Maybe the next heart break isn’t as bad and maybe it’s because you have that extra layer ’round your heart. So you think, I can do this again for real. And then it happens. The layer on your heart isn’t strong enough and your shit gets shattered. Then you realize you’re now the bitter ole bitch you never wanted to be.

The thing with letting people in is that you never know their next moves. At least in chess you can see the board and prepare but in love it’s any mans game. But heartbreak in Hanoi as a lesbian expat is a whole nother game. It’s like you’re in a vortex. You’re isolated, you don’t speak the language and you’re surrounded by a society where people like you (LGBT) are so hidden it’s easier to find Waldo. But, here I am.

Yea, I’m heartbroken because of falsehoods in relationships but also for my best friend who I can’t be there for. For the walls that I’ve built that prevent me from forming close relationships. For a new decade that started in shit.

But, on the flip side when you’re heartbroken in Hanoi you can pamper yourself hella cheaply. I got a 90 full body massage today for $13 USD. Let that soak in. THIRTEEN dollars for a NINETY minute massage. I also got a $1 coffee at the cutest little coffee shop that made me feel like I was in a beach town. So there is that.